Mixed Emotions

As we near the last days in our home I'm really starting to feel mixed emotions. We are ready to move on and find a new house but it is still hard to leave our home - the only home my kids have ever known. Yesterday while taking the first significant load of furniture etc. they both started to get really whiny and clingy and needy. They have watched me slowly pack for weeks but this was the first significant thing that really alarmed them. Reed was crying and didn't want us to leave and clung to me when we got back saying how much he missed me. We realized after talking with him he thought WE were leaving and not taking them with us! I KNEW this move would be especially hard on my tender hearted little man but now it's here and very real.

We moved here when Reed was a newborn and Paige come home from the hospital to this house. They both took their first steps, said their first words and celebrated birthdays and holidays and made countless memories. I have pictures, scrapbooks and videos to mark every moment but I will no longer be able to look in the backyard and picture Reeds first birthday party or see the exact place in the living room Paige took her first steps.

We are moving on to provide a better life for our kids in a nicer neighborhood with a better school. In the long run they will be better for it and will be greatful. But the coming days and weeks and months will be hard on them as they leave their home. I never want my kids to feel hurt or sadness or confusion and it's hard knowing I'm causing this. But I'm keeping my eye on the big picture and the better life they will have.

"For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11