My Scariest Moment

Last night at 2:30 am I woke up to Reed screaming. He had another nightmare. After I got him settled down I went to check on Paige since I was already up. I opened the door and she wasn't in her bed. This wasn't unusual as she often gets up to play and falls asleep on the floor. However, she wasn't on the floor either. I checked her whole room and no Paige! I flipped on the light to make sure my eyes weren't deceiving me and she wasn't there. My heart instantly stopped and my body turned to jello. It was one of those moments you literally have a thousand thoughts in a split second. I knew she HAD to be there somewhere, and yet she wasn't. My thoughts instantly went to the show I saw the day before on kidnapped children, never to be seen again. I noticed her blankie was missing and was glad that wherever she was, her comfort blankie was with her. I looked at the window and noticed the blinds were flipped the wrong way on the bottom. Did someone come in and take her or was that from our home inspection the other day? Did the home inspector secretly work for a child abduction ring and left my window unlocked to come back for her? Did she wander out of her room into another? No, she can't open doors yet. She HAD to be there, but she wasn't.... I woke up Justin, full panick finally settling in when I realized she really was gone. He started looking around the rest of the house. I just stood in her room looking where I'd already looked, unable to process that she wasn't there. It just didn't make any sense. For some reason I walked over to the closet and slid it open and there she was! Fast asleep in the back of the closet stink bug position laying on her blankie! Instant relief flooded me and I grabbed her and held her, with absolutely no regard to the fact I was waking her from a deep sleep! Why was she in the closet? She crawled in there, shut the door behind her and went to sleep? It makes no sense! All I know is those were the scariest moments of my life because I really thought she was gone! Of course I didn't get a wink of sleep after that. I just lay there all night thinking of all the moms who have gone through the same thing but whose babies were really gone. They probably had those same first moments of confusion, disbelief and then panic. Only theirs were followed by heartache and not relief. It made me realize how life can instantly change in a moment. I know we all "know" this but sometimes we get a little dose of the reality to remind us. It made me want to cherish every moment, to love and protect my children the best I know how and to never turn my back on them for a second. What would life without Paige be like? I can't even comprehend it and pray to God I never have to find out!