Called Out!

When I became a mom I SWORE I wouldn't play favorites with my kids! And try as I might to succeed at this, I sometimes fail, or at least appear to. Now for the record, I do not favor one child over the other. Sometimes it may look that way but in my heart of hearts, I truly love them both equally. I have more of Reed's temperament and personality so in some ways we connect better. Paigey is the baby and gets lots of attentions for all the cute and funny things she says and does. Sometimes I tell more stories about one then the other. Sometimes one is in a good phase and one is in a bad phase. All that to say, as far as appearances go, some might have an opinion as to who is my favorite but I truly don't have one.


The other night Reed and Paige were bickering. Paige apparently hid Reed but I didn't see this. I walked in on the part that he hit her in the face. I immediately reacted and spanked him because I have a zero tolerance policy for hitting, deserved or not! Reed immediately yelled at me "but SHE hit ME!" He has a very strong sense of justice (just like me). Everything is black and white, right or wrong with no grey areas. He was devastated not that I spanked him, but that I thought he was in the wrong.

When he told me Paige hit him, I told him that instead of hitting her he needs to let me know so I can spank her. His response was "but you NEVER spank Paigey. You just get happy with her!" :0 OUCH! The truth hurts! Paige DOES get along with more because she's the "baby." Earlier in the day she had walked up to Reed and popped him on the head and I laughed, because, well, it was funny! But no excuses - I need to treat them equally.

For the longest time Paige was "just a baby" but the reality is, she's two years old and old enough to be punished the same way as Reed. I lay awake for a long time that night feeling that familiar guilt for making Reed feel that I treated Paige differently, favored her, or loved her more. Sometimes it takes the honesty of a child to give you a little reality check!

Ironically my chance to prove this to him came today. Paige was done with her lunch so she threw some food. I told her if she did it again I'd spank her. She threw the entire plate, so I spanked her! She was, of course, shocked and devastated. Reed yelled at me not to hurt his sister! See what I get for being "fair?" But I know I did the right thing. I'm proud of Reed for being protective of his sister and I know deep down, he will respect me for treating them the same. Even though it breaks his heart to see his baby sister cry!

This parenting is rough stuff! Sometimes a reality check helps put us back in line, re-evaluate and adjust. Funny it takes my three year old to remind me!