The "Firsts"

There are so many things I miss about the first year of my babies lives! I love all the little "firsts." First word, first steps, first Christmas, etc. There is only one first and the older they get, the less there are, or at least, the less significant they seem! Reeds first bad word seems much less momentous then his first steps were! The holiday season makes me nostalgiac when I see all the "babies first Christmas" onesies and hats adorning the store shelves.


Another thing I miss is the bonding experience bath time used to be. Now it has turned into a water war zone between siblings with me as the referee. It used to be my favorite time of the night but now, nine times out of ten I have to pull one out early for misconduct. This usually involves much screaming and crying from both parties.


The letting go in parenting starts so early and moving on is so hard! I miss my babies! I love my toddlers but there is some sadness in saying goodbye to the baby years. My "baby" is two and hit me in the face today when I asked for a kiss. The baby years are like the honeymoon years in a marriage and inevitably can't last forever. And yet, like a marriage, even when the newness and "firsts" wear off, the true growth begins, the love grows daily and everyones lives are richer.


One thing that I hold onto and don't ever think I will stop doing is that final check on them before I go to sleep. When they were babies I checked on them to make sure they were still breathing and that I didn't somehow accidentally kill them! It became routine so even when I stopped worrying about them, I still took that last moment to peek at them. I love sneaking in and looking at those precious little faces, long eyelashes laying on their cheeks, Paige's thumb in her mouth, blankies at both of their sides and the perfect peace on their faces. The faces change and grow but they will always be my babies and every night I look forward to gazing on their faces because it's the last thing I want to see before I close my eyes.