We have had a rough couple of days! Paige came down with a cold which turned into a bad middle ear infection. She basically screamed from 2am until noon when she finally passed out. These days are so hard when I'm exhausted from no sleep and my child is hurting and there isn't much I can do. To top it off, there's Reed who basically gets phased out of the equation.
Reed has always been really good at entertaining himself and keeping busy. Today for some reason, he got tired of that and was bouncing off the walls by the end of the day. He was teasing his sister and making her cry, disobeying me and just generally acting out in every way he could. My exhaustion caught up with me and I snapped.
He was teasing Paige again and making her cry and I told him to come talk to me. He said no and shut the door. I lost it. I stormed in and spanked him, hard. Then I walked away. These are the things parents aren't supposed to admit but I felt a little better. Did it hurt me more then it hurt him? Nope, pretty sure it didn't!
After he calmed down, I told him to come talk to me again. This time he did. I explained how tired I was, how sick Paige was, and that while I understood his frustration from being cooped up, it doesn't justify disobedience. I want to have grace and mercy but I also don't want to teach him that it's ok to act out if you have a good reason! Are there times I want to punch someone in the face because they've upset my already bad day? Absolutely! Do I do it? Nope! I realize that everything I'm teaching him now is modeling what will happen later in life, in the real world!
I admitted I shouldn't have punished him out of anger and apologized to him and asked him to forgive me. One thing I always remember my parents doing is saying "I'm sorry, I was wrong. Will you forgive me?" It's so important for our kids to know we are human and we make mistakes. This will teach them that it's ok to mess up too and to always admit our shortcomings. I don't want to raise stubborn people who can't admit when they are wrong.
I could tell he was really listening to me. After a while he said he was sorry for being so naughty and asked me to forgive him. This was the first time he said this without being prompted at all. He just learned from example, just as I did. It was one of those moments I felt so proud of him and a rare feeling of success as a parent. Those moments are few and far between in the toddler years so I cherish them! Then he said "how about next time you try not to get so mad and I'll try not to be so naughty?" Then he said "and could you just spank me one time instead of three?" Ha ha, gotta love the negotiations!
I'm proud of Reed and the sweet person that he is. Sure he has his naughty moments but he's also developed an amazing conscience and feels remorse when he is wrong. He is going to grow up to be an amazing man someday!
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